Someone tell this guy to quit being so nice…

An Italian tourist, 72 year old Felicia Lettieri, left behind $21,000 in a New York City taxi cab.  The cash was inside of her ginormous old lady wallet, which she left in the backseat.  Let’s rewind this just a moment…she had 21 grand in cash?!  Was she visiting America with intentions of buying a human being and bringing him/her back to Italy?  Perhaps she came to stock up on fine American Made Goods.  Hardly, this lady is dangerous and I am concerned.  The slightly more shocking part of this story is that the Bangladeshi cabbie returned the money.  What on earth was he thinking; he could have returned to his mahalla and opened 13 clothing factories.  I cannot condone his actions, especially considering how lethal this old Italian broad is now that she has her 21 grand back.  This is a sticky story and I will be following it closely.  For the record, I am not a bad person, but 21 grand in the backseat of my cab…exactly.

No one worked harder than Bob…

I wasn’t always working for an adult entertainment company.  I usually get a little chuckle when I think about my old co-workers faces if had they seen me browsing the web for porn at my old office.  I’ve had several jobs, pre and post college, that would have fired me in an instant if I was looking at porn.  The taboo state of porn in the office is a joke.  What is really wrong with a little lunch-hour movie watching?

Offices should institute a few ground rules and allow some porn in the workplace.  I’d lay 10:1 odds that the general morale of the employees would skyrocket.  And I don’t wanna hear anyone bitching about the horrors of letting porn in the workplace, especially not from some 62 year old secretary named Gladys.  She was probably giving out handies in the 3rd floor storage closet when I was in diapers.  Let it be, let the porn flow through the cubicles.  Like I said, a few ground rules can really help keep this thing efficient.  NO DOWNLOADING!  Ever!  Just stream it.  That would be my “Rule #1″ because God forbid you attach the wrong file in an email and send one of your best customers the latest episode of ‘Shlongs N’ Thongs’.  Actually, forget that rule, send the episode to your customer by accident, they will love it.  I really can’t find a single reason to eliminate porn from the workplace.  If anyone comes up with anything please let me know, but I think you won’t.

Utah, like Mickey Mouse, hates strip clubs…

As if Utah could not get any worse…oh wait, it just did.  I was at the airport in Salt Lake City once, 9:15 p.m., could not get a drink anywhere!  I ask politely what the deal is, to an airport employee, and she tells me there is a place just across from the airport that I can get a beer.  I roll over there, because I have about 3 hours before my connecting flight, and as I walk in to this “bar” I realize they are shutting down, at 9:30.  This is the kind of state that you would expect to have, I don’t know, a tax on strip clubs or something outlandish…and they do.  This article upset me, deeply.

Utah has a special tax for everything strip club related.  That is just immoral in my eyes.  It is ironic too, don’t you think, for a state with the most polygamy practitioners to be taxing everything in and around the strip joint.  I just don’t get it.  It is bad enough that you need a search party to find some booze, now the strip clubs are becoming more expensive than a long weekend in Provo.  Utah needs to sit down and really think about the direction they are heading toward.  I want to go to the strip club, in any state, and find wall to wall nudity.  Beer should flow like the Mighty Mississippi and this erroneous tax should be wiped from the books. The strip club is a place for smiles that should never be too damaging on the ole wallet. Here Here!!