Mix It Up This Weekend…You’ve Got 3 Days

Super Weekend…

Three-day weekends are special, like a stripper that actually is working to pay for college. I am always excited when a three-day weekend sneaks up on me, because traditional Mondays suck and an extra Sunday is like getting a double-blowjob. Treasure this weekend and make the best of it, watch plenty of porn and masturbate freely. No one is holding you back, this is your three-day weekend and don’t let anyone take it from you. Hit a bar, or a club, trim your ball hair, gargle. All of these steps will be beneficial over the course of the weekend, trust me.

A Wrinkle In Time (Great Book, Awful Calendar)

Boner = Gone…

Listen, I’m no ageist but this is a little much. I will always condone and advocate the publishing of calendars featuring scantily clad women, but I have to draw the line here. No one wants to see an 89 year-old woman in a bikini, no matter what month it is! Christiane Luckardt begs to differ, more importantly though, some moron calendar producer actually signed off on this. This is the problem with society, there are too many people thinking…and that is dangerous. The one positive note spilling over in this giant mess is the proceeds going to charity. Honestly, I feel genuinely sorry for this charity because they aren’t getting a dime. I’d hate to be the guy who has to explain that they spent $10,000 creating the calendars while revenues totaled 56 bucks. He will be looking for a new job, and won’t find one. There might be one person out there interested in the calendar: this guy.

Get Her Dick Hard (odd, but go with me here)

Get That Spark Back!

Viagra for chicks! I will buy it for my girlfriend…when I get one. This is quite a developing story and I will be paying close attention. The ironic part of all of this is that the drug was originally produced as an anti-depressant, didn’t work, but managed to boost libido in most females. This is truly the beauty of science and I will continue to champion moves like this throughout the lab-coat world. Big ups to the doctors behind this discovery and I’m sure all of the boyfriends out there with dead-fish girlfriends will be all over this shit for their ladies. Science is good, be thankful.

Natalia Rossi Interview: “It just makes me cum and squirt all over…”

Natalia Rossi is wild and if you forget that notion for some reason, be sure that she will remind you. This was actually my 4th attempt to call her, I was ready to head home for the day when I finally got her on the phone. She was busy fucking her fiance, hence the lack of answering. We chatted about the industry, her fiance’s mondo uncircumcised French penis and a few other subjects.

And if you want to read the transcript of the interview, check it out. Natalia was a lot of fun to chat with, so listen up!

Part one:

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Part two:

[jwplayer config=”Interview Player” mediaid=”11033″]

My Journey Through This Life Is Complete…

Tori Black


I saw Tori Black’s right tit (her right, my left) from roughly 12 feet away and it was undeniably the highlight of my weekend. Exxxotica was a blast and if you didn’t make it, boooooo. There were girls every which way you looked and most of them scantily clad for your viewing pleasure. Sunday was very low-key but Alexis Texas managed to brighten up the convention center with a kick-ass roller derby outfit straight out of the ’70’s; purple and gold, amazing. The girls were extremely nice and everyone was smiling, except Jenna Haze, who continues to have that ‘bad mustard’ look…what is that?!

Road Trip: Destination Tits and Ass!


If you are within a 200 mile radius of Miami Beach, Fl – get your ass to Exxxotica, 5 minutes ago. This is your chance to meet all of those hotties you drool over constantly. No shame, I drool too. So get off of your ass and get on the Florida Turnpike or I-95 and head south. This really is a convention for the fans, and at Nude Reviews we love the fans more than any other site. You guys make the industry what it is and without you we’d have nothing. To the victor go the spoils…so go get your picture taken with Jayden James or Tori Black or any other amazingly hot girl from the adult industry. Remember, boners are encouraged and condoned there :p

Who Wants To Get A Boner Tonight?

Tori Tori Tori…

Tori Black will be chatting live tonight on ImLive.com and I think that anyone who reads this post should click here and get their ass signed up for a membership. This is one of those rare opportunities and you would be remiss to sit this one out. Tori is as good as it gets and one of these days she will come to her senses and finally call me back. I’m not sweating it, we had a good thing going for a while but we went our separate ways…