Category Archives: In The News

Grab The Wheel, I Need To Shave My Pubes…

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Car Accident

In a hurry…

I have never been in a car accident.  But I must admit, if I am going to be rear-ended by another vehicle, I hope it goes something like this.  A Florida woman was driving her Thunderbird in Key West and rammed into the back of a truck.  She wasn’t paying attention to the road because she was trimming her pubes.  That is the epitome of multitasking and I must applaud her efforts.  Thankfully, no one was hurt.  At what point do you decide to snip the bush while driving in the car?  This is a first for me, I have never heard of anyone grooming downstairs while behind the wheel.  The woman told police she was tidying up before she met her boyfriend.  I hope this boyfriend doesn’t dismiss the dedication of his lady to make him happy.  She is making the ultimate sacrifice and I think she deserves a prize.  Unfortunately, the only thing she got was a trip to jail because she was driving with a suspended license and the week prior to the bush-wreck she got a D.U.I.

And what about this boyfriend?  Is he still waiting for his perfectly trimmed girlfriend?  I wonder if Florida allows conjugal visits…this lady will have all the time in the world to shave her box now.

Have These Hallowed Grounds Become Tainted?

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Princeton University

Smart Kids need porn too…

There is always going to be one dickhead in the room, to spoil the fun.  Princeton University students are staring at equations and 18th Century Russian literature all day, trying to figure out whether to become a doctor or lawyer, or take some other route to millionaire status.  If they want to relax and watch a little porn, just let them.  The student government recently granted $1,500 to a newly formed group on campus called Let’s Talk Sex (LeTS).  The group was planning to schedule a screening of clips from porn films, followed by discussion and a guest speaker representing the industry.  This idea has been filibustered by a growing number of online petitioners, now totaling 223.  Most of the signatures are from alumni however, and I really think they should just keep quiet.  A guy on the editorial board of Princeton’s school newspaper started this whole blockade, and I must say, he seems to be rather douche-like.  What’s the big deal?  If there is one set of college kids that can handle watching porn…it’s Ivy Leaguers.  This is not going to stain the fabric of Princeton University for decades to come.  It is a whole bunch of diddly-poo and it has me rather miffed.  Yea, I said miffed.

Porn Cannot Hide…But Why Should It Have To?

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The Porn Stick

Porn Detector…

This is bullshit.  Who created this device?  I bet Apple had something to do with it, they truly hate porn.  Basically this USB stick goes into a computer and finds all of the porn like a cyberspace bloodhound.  It is a police dog for your hard drive and I do not approve.  Parents concerned that their children are on the computer too often and must be hiding porn, now have a solution.  I think this notion is bogus.  Be thankful that your child is on the computer looking at porn and not in the woods or under a bridge mainlining heroin with their buddies.  It’s an easy decision in my mind.  Let the teens look for porn and not drug dealers.  If you catch your 14 year old son masturbating in the kitchen while you have dinner guests, then yes, we have a problem on our hands.  Allow the internet porn surfing to continue, just monitor it closely, but not too close…that could get weird.

The Apple Reich: Haters Of All Adult Entertainment

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the real iPhone

Apple Doo Doo…

Apple has become the Gestapo of internet porn.  They clearly want no one looking at smut on the precious iPhone.  A recent purge of all porn-related apps has left many users upset.  What’s the big deal, anyways?  There wasn’t even a single full nudity app available, so why get rid of hotness.  That’s just it, Apple is killing hotness.  What a travesty; this is like tech segregation.  Everyone is pro-technology and all for the advancement of technology in society.  Yet advancements are made in the adult market and they get shot down by the very company pushing for innovation and growth.  I am baffled, somewhat, but I suppose I can appreciate Apple’s argument.  They are douches.

Help Me Save The Winter Olympics, Please!

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Real Winter Olympics

Olympic Bore…

Does anyone have Olympics Fever?  I didn’t think so.  The Olympics are beyond antiquated and they need some serious spicing up.  Yes, yes I saw Shaun White tear the halfpipe apart in Men’s Snowboarding; but don’t forget that a few years ago there was no snowboarding in the Winter Games.  The Olympics remind me of 70’s retro-porn.  Better yet, the Olympics are one big hairy bush of a vagina.  It seemed to garner attention in the 60’s and 70’s, much like the hairy bush.  Then it was forgotten during the 80’s when the world was crumbling.  Unlike porn, which has made a momentous comeback in the 21st century, the Olympics still retain their poor pixel quality that was once a delight in the 70’s.  I certainly do not want to chair the IOC, but I think I have a few ideas that could work.

* Naked Perfect10 Model Curling
* Naked Giant Slalom
* Naked Pairs Figure Skating
* Speed Skating with Bengal Tigers

Just a few off the top of my head.  This could really help push the Olympics into modern times and give it the facelift needed to survive another decade or two.

Tiger Got Her Pregnant…Then He Did It Once More

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Tiger Woods Baby Mama, Nearly

It just keeps getting better…

I simply cannot get enough of the Tiger Woods saga.  Partly due to the fact that it is never-ending; also that it seems to get juicier every other week.  Josyln James, the pornstar and crowd favorite here at Nude Reviews, told Inside Edition that Woods impregnated her twice.  It was bad enough for Woods’ image when her name appeared on the list of infidelities, but now this?  Tiger can’t catch a break, not that he deserves one though.  Apparently James had a miscarriage the first go-around, and an abortion on the second trip.  The article I have linked to this blog post ends with James’ stepmother calling James a compulsive liar and bad parent.  It would appear then that Joslyn and Tiger are perfect for each other.

China: Still Scaring The Crap Out Of Westerners…

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WTF China

China has issues…

I try to blog about China periodically, I feel as though I am morally obligated to do so.  I am not Chinese, never will be; love the food though.  China continues to lead the world in the ‘crackdown’ department.  Over the weekend China announced that 16,000 adult sites were being shut down.  I guess when you decide to legally limit the amount of children a family is allowed to have, this is just the logical next step.  It seems counter-intuitive to me though, if you want to ban procreation I think you should let porn flow to every corner of that 1-timezoned madhouse.  The Chinese people need more release, and internet porn is the best remedy.  Sure, prostitutes work, but when was the last time you caught syphilis from your PC?