Leave it to the Germans to disgrace everything holy about a church on Sunday.  I am not the most religious man, nor will I ever be, but I don’t know if I could have sex in a church let alone even get a boner in church!  Who gets hard in church?  Okay, clearly some people have gotten hard in church (sorry Bishop).  A German police officer thought it would be the grandest idea to bang his girlfriend during a service last week.  Not his best move.  He was discovered during the act, subsequently recognized because he is a cop, and now faces up to three years behind bars.  You just don’t fuck in a church, people, for all kinds of reasons, you just don’t do it!  Couldn’t he have waited for the sermon to end, at least taken communion first?  No, he was eager to bone in a church, so he did.

There are valuable lessons to be learned here.  Never go to a church with a girl you wanna have sex with (why do you think so many married people are at church, huh!).  Although the church has become a damned Red-light District over the past decade for various reasons; still don’t think it is the place for banging.  Keep it in your pants until the final Amen, shake a few hands in the lobby and go home and fuck whoever the hell you want!  And you can even repent about it the following morning at confession…