Public Violation: The Newest Porn Thrillride

Public Violation

PornPros: those sly dogs…

Please do not get too excited when you click on the link I have provided below.  I can assure you that it is not a compilation of my weekend escapades, although it is rather close in portrayal.  I have in fact been known to run wild in the streets and wreak havoc on every young woman I come across a la a recently released sex offender.  This new site from PornPros is amazing and I am truly at a loss for words when attempting to further describe it.  I challenge anyone to watch the trailer and not become overwhelmed with pure elation.  I especially enjoyed the drive-by ejaculations; those girls never saw it coming, and damn, was that guy fast!  He moved like the wind, like a cheetah and The Roadrunner had a baby; ninja-like.  Please, make sure you are sitting down when you watch this…

Grab The Wheel, I Need To Shave My Pubes…

Car Accident

In a hurry…

I have never been in a car accident.  But I must admit, if I am going to be rear-ended by another vehicle, I hope it goes something like this.  A Florida woman was driving her Thunderbird in Key West and rammed into the back of a truck.  She wasn’t paying attention to the road because she was trimming her pubes.  That is the epitome of multitasking and I must applaud her efforts.  Thankfully, no one was hurt.  At what point do you decide to snip the bush while driving in the car?  This is a first for me, I have never heard of anyone grooming downstairs while behind the wheel.  The woman told police she was tidying up before she met her boyfriend.  I hope this boyfriend doesn’t dismiss the dedication of his lady to make him happy.  She is making the ultimate sacrifice and I think she deserves a prize.  Unfortunately, the only thing she got was a trip to jail because she was driving with a suspended license and the week prior to the bush-wreck she got a D.U.I.

And what about this boyfriend?  Is he still waiting for his perfectly trimmed girlfriend?  I wonder if Florida allows conjugal visits…this lady will have all the time in the world to shave her box now.

Have These Hallowed Grounds Become Tainted?

Princeton University

Smart Kids need porn too…

There is always going to be one dickhead in the room, to spoil the fun.  Princeton University students are staring at equations and 18th Century Russian literature all day, trying to figure out whether to become a doctor or lawyer, or take some other route to millionaire status.  If they want to relax and watch a little porn, just let them.  The student government recently granted $1,500 to a newly formed group on campus called Let’s Talk Sex (LeTS).  The group was planning to schedule a screening of clips from porn films, followed by discussion and a guest speaker representing the industry.  This idea has been filibustered by a growing number of online petitioners, now totaling 223.  Most of the signatures are from alumni however, and I really think they should just keep quiet.  A guy on the editorial board of Princeton’s school newspaper started this whole blockade, and I must say, he seems to be rather douche-like.  What’s the big deal?  If there is one set of college kids that can handle watching porn…it’s Ivy Leaguers.  This is not going to stain the fabric of Princeton University for decades to come.  It is a whole bunch of diddly-poo and it has me rather miffed.  Yea, I said miffed.

The Apple Reich: Haters Of All Adult Entertainment

the real iPhone

Apple Doo Doo…

Apple has become the Gestapo of internet porn.  They clearly want no one looking at smut on the precious iPhone.  A recent purge of all porn-related apps has left many users upset.  What’s the big deal, anyways?  There wasn’t even a single full nudity app available, so why get rid of hotness.  That’s just it, Apple is killing hotness.  What a travesty; this is like tech segregation.  Everyone is pro-technology and all for the advancement of technology in society.  Yet advancements are made in the adult market and they get shot down by the very company pushing for innovation and growth.  I am baffled, somewhat, but I suppose I can appreciate Apple’s argument.  They are douches.

ET: Extra “What The Fuck Is That” Terrestrial

I am a lover of all porn.  It has been manufactured over years and years of intense web browsing and an unrivaled dedication to the finer things in life.  Every now and then I come across a little gem and it must be shared with the world.  I certainly cannot take credit for this one, but I can undoubtedly point you in the right direction.  I still think it would have been great if during mid-bang, the guy just yells “Holy Shit!! What the fuck is that!?”  Obviously he knew that there was an alien lady right next to him, but it would have made me chuckle a bit.  So, without further adieu, please click HERE when you are ready…