Of course, you are a trusted friend and an all around great guy…so I thought!
If your friend has a hot date and wants to borrow your wheels, you always say yes. You do this because you are a good friend and you trust him with your car. What you never expect him to do is have sex in your car. Is this sophomore year in highschool? What the F?!
I opened my car door this morning and caught a left jab of sex and a right cross of you don’t wanna sit there. This is a major party foul and I will not tolerate it. I drove to work with the airconditioner cranked and all of the windows down in my car. I stopped at the quickie-mart and bought three air-fresheners, a vanilla-mint candle and a new steering wheel cover. The candle is lit right now in the backseat, and truthfully if it sets my car ablaze I probably won’t be upset. That thing was so pungent this morning, I dry-heaved twice, then really threw up. How could he have the audacity to pull a stunt like this?
He was driven by the power of sex, and literally drove my car right into the junkyard. This erotic B.O. will be lingering for years and I am pissed. Now I know some people would say, “hey give your friend a pass…he got action” No, no, no my faithful blog readers…this guy is dead meat. I am deciding now whether to leave a dead fish under his bed sheets or just pee in his shampoo bottle. Please feel free to leave me suggestions…