My balls don’t need any rings, weights, clips or loops…

This thing goes on  the testicles…in order to keep them bound and weighed down.  What will they think of next.  If I saw this on the kitchen counter I would ask my roommate what happened to his bicycle.  I certainly would not say, “Hey Jim, don’t forget your nut weights!”  I’m serious, that thing looks like a quick release seat clamp on a Schwinn.