I got dibs on the dead guy’s porn collection…

Pretty sure that if I saw a dead body I would freek out.  In fact I know I would.  But some people don’t seem to mind a corpse just chillin’ in the living room.  A woman in Texas was arrested the other day for stealing pornography and coins from a dead man.  She is claiming the porn collection belonged to her and that the man never paid her for it.

Let me get this straight…not only did she steal a dead guy’s porn collection, but she took some pocket change too.  This chick should fry, which is a real possibility in Texas.  I was pulled over for going 38 in a 35 zone outside of Dallas, I nearly got the gas chamber.

I am making 2 new rules:

Rule 1: When old men die they get to take their porn collection to the pearly gates (non-negotiable).

Rule 2: Don’t just assume that coffee is free in Heaven…leave a man his 85 cents in case God charges for a latte.