I think I’ll pass…

I came across something equally fascinating and disgusting. It’s a cookbook filled with semen-based recipes (fight the gag reflex). I’m not fucking kidding, it exists, and you can purchase one for your girlfriend’s birthday at the bargain price of $24.95 and have it on your doorstep in 3-5 business days. I’m not quite sure about the emotions rushing through me right now. On one hand, it is hilarious and makes for a hell of a gift. On the other hand, it is really being put to use by someone in a kitchen somewhere. They have a counter-top filled with flour, baking soda, sugar, vanilla extract and semen. One recipe, for meringue, simply substitutes ‘cream of tartar’ for ‘cream of man’, I am not making this stuff up folks. If someone ever tried to serve me a Banana-Walnut-Semen Muffin, I would look them in the eyes, with my serious face, and say “you take the first bite.” While they struggle with the first bite (because it’s fucking semen) I would slap them in the mouth and run. I guess I don’t really have to flee the scene, but it has more effect.