Category Archives: Babes

Real House Whores of New Jersey: Season 1

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it IS a sex-tape…

That crazy bitch from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle, has a sex-tape. The whole sex-tape thing has really lost its edge though, don’t you think? I remember when the only thing on the block was Pamela Anderson getting impaled by Tommy Lee’s horse-cock. Nowadays it seems like every faux celebrity has one, and they use it to acquire more fame. This real housewife looks real nasty, wild and crazy…all of the right ingredients for a sex-tape with just one thing missing. Who the fuck are you? I can go to hundreds of “home-sex” sites on the interwebs and find tons of homemade porn. Why do I care to watch yours? It must be due to that riveting show you star in. If I come across bitter, it is because I am. That being said, I still think you all should watch the video and critique it, compare it to Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton. It is available through Hustler, follow this link.

Jesse Jordan And I Should Talk More…

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Jesse Jordan is a very cool chick. I could have talked to her for an hour…not sure she would have wanted to, but I could have. She is one of the sweetest girls in the industry and I hope she comes to Miami soon and maybe we can chill.  For the full transcript, follow this link.

Part one:

[jwplayer config=”Interview Player” mediaid=”11023″]

Part two:

[jwplayer config=”Interview Player” mediaid=”11025″]

Good-bye Ginger Dreams…For Now At Least

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Big Red Dream…

I read an article that stated Irish women were the most fertile in Europe. This is interesting news, considering one of my life goals is to bang a ginger. Firecrotches fascinate me. My search has been ongoing for quite some time now, and I fear it may be coming to an unsuccessful end. The article really made me ponder my life goals. Should banging a ginger be that high on my list? The answer is yes, undoubtedly. Then I thought: I should marry a ginger and start a family. They are so fertile I am guaranteed some babies. But then I thought even deeper. Do I want to bring a redheaded kid into this world? The answer is no, undoubtedly. The potential scrutiny that kid would face makes me shudder with fear. What is the lesson here? Bang a ginger, don’t procreate. Class dismissed.

Mix It Up This Weekend…You’ve Got 3 Days

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Super Weekend…

Three-day weekends are special, like a stripper that actually is working to pay for college. I am always excited when a three-day weekend sneaks up on me, because traditional Mondays suck and an extra Sunday is like getting a double-blowjob. Treasure this weekend and make the best of it, watch plenty of porn and masturbate freely. No one is holding you back, this is your three-day weekend and don’t let anyone take it from you. Hit a bar, or a club, trim your ball hair, gargle. All of these steps will be beneficial over the course of the weekend, trust me.

Get Her Dick Hard (odd, but go with me here)

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Get That Spark Back!

Viagra for chicks! I will buy it for my girlfriend…when I get one. This is quite a developing story and I will be paying close attention. The ironic part of all of this is that the drug was originally produced as an anti-depressant, didn’t work, but managed to boost libido in most females. This is truly the beauty of science and I will continue to champion moves like this throughout the lab-coat world. Big ups to the doctors behind this discovery and I’m sure all of the boyfriends out there with dead-fish girlfriends will be all over this shit for their ladies. Science is good, be thankful.

Natalia Rossi Interview: “It just makes me cum and squirt all over…”

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Natalia Rossi is wild and if you forget that notion for some reason, be sure that she will remind you. This was actually my 4th attempt to call her, I was ready to head home for the day when I finally got her on the phone. She was busy fucking her fiance, hence the lack of answering. We chatted about the industry, her fiance’s mondo uncircumcised French penis and a few other subjects.

And if you want to read the transcript of the interview, check it out. Natalia was a lot of fun to chat with, so listen up!


Part one:

[jwplayer config=”Interview Player” mediaid=”11031″]

 

 

Part two:

[jwplayer config=”Interview Player” mediaid=”11033″]

My Journey Through This Life Is Complete…

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Tori Black

Heaven…

I saw Tori Black’s right tit (her right, my left) from roughly 12 feet away and it was undeniably the highlight of my weekend. Exxxotica was a blast and if you didn’t make it, boooooo. There were girls every which way you looked and most of them scantily clad for your viewing pleasure. Sunday was very low-key but Alexis Texas managed to brighten up the convention center with a kick-ass roller derby outfit straight out of the ’70’s; purple and gold, amazing. The girls were extremely nice and everyone was smiling, except Jenna Haze, who continues to have that ‘bad mustard’ look…what is that?!