“Believe Me, It’s 13 Inches Long…I’ll Show Ya”

Big John Edwards

Vote for me, my dick is huge…

Word on the street: John Edwards has a monster dong.  This coming after reports of a sex-tape he made with his adulterous counterpart, Rielle Hunter, surfaced.  I love it.  Not only did this guy cheat on his wife and deceive millions, but he documented it, like any moron would in that situation.  Toss all of the accolades out of the window, strip the mantle of every honor bestowed upon you, John; and simply place the DVD above your fireplace.  You have entered into that uncertain realm of ‘man, that’s crazy’ and ‘this guy is truly a douche’.  Not many can pull it off, but you seem to tackle the difficulties with remarkable precision and that dreamy Carolina smile.  I guess the old ‘sneaky politician’ moniker is still safe for a while.  Back to the sex-tape though, intriguing, right?  Rumors are swirling about Edwards’ member and its porn-like stature.  If it’s as big as the reports are indicating, it may need its own separate story.  This guy needs an E True Hollywood Story, yesterday.  I don’t even think he has to agree to it, just whip something together E Channel.

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