To Lube Or Not To Lube…Lube Always

got-lube

Just a dab…

An anal conversation at the office got me thinkin’!  Personally, I like lube.  It can really save you in a pinch and it is a must for anal.  Going into the rump sans lube is a mistake.  I know plenty of good men who never made it back alive, and the ones that did recover…they were never the same.  Okay, maybe it isn’t that dramatic, but it will really piss off your lady if you try to just go in there without some form of KY.  I don’t even feel the need to break that one down, but for all of you slowpokes, it will hurt her and maybe cause mild chaffing on your moneymaker.  Lube it up, but trust me on this…

1.) A little lube goes a long way fellas, we aren’t putting WD-40 on the rusty bike chain, use it sparingly.
2.) Having some lube in the nightstand will let her know you’re thinking about her well-being.
3.) Feel free to reapply at any juncture, just don’t go swimming.

Do It Anywhere And Everywhere, That’s My Motto…

Public Sex

Having sex in a public place is like a right of passage…

I am huge fan of public sex acts.  This doesn’t mean I am gonna get a hummer on the sofa at Starbucks, but I would take one in the bathroom.  I can’t lay claim to having sex in the middle of a crowded street or banging a chick right on the dance-floor at a nightclub, but I did get a handjob on a bridge once.  That counts for something right?  It was night time and cars were in fact passing by, and I shot a load into the local river (sorry kayakers).  I condone all public sex acts, especially in the high-tech society we live in; where everyone has an iPhone or a digital camera ready to go in a moments notice.  So all of you banghappy couples out there, keep up the good work, just be sure to stay the appropriate distance from the school-zone, because that will not end well I can assure you.

Just Like That…Let Me Have My Moment Of Side-Boob

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All photos should be taken this way…

Last time I had Silvstedt on here she was finger-blasting herself on some French beach.  That was awesome, yes, but I am such a sucker for side-boob.  There is something so exquisite about it, like a Van Gogh or a Degas.  A spectacular side-boob image can have a profound impact on its viewers.  I remember my first side-boob encounter…I was 12 years old and coming out of a pizza joint with my Uncle.  I noticed that he was staring at this group of 20-somethings on the street, so I took a gander.  This blonde’s tits were hanging out like laundry on a clothesline and I got my first glimpse of side-boob.  I was never the same.  The obsession nearly consumed me, and I actually thought about designing a clothing line in college specifically for the promotion and flaunting of all things side-boob related.  I let that dream die, but I never pass up the opportunity to share amazing side-boob pics with everyone I know…

Have A Tit-tacular Weekend, And Rub One Out…

Gina

Office Titty Party…

It is the weekend, and at Nude Reviews we have a little tradition before we leave the office.  We scan the Internet at a rapid pace in search of the best tits around.  When everyone is pleased with their choices we meet at the bosses desk and have a little sitdown.  Is this crazy?  No way…it is the perfect way to jumpstart the weekend, and everyone leaves the office with a smile.  So in honor of our little Friday tradition, I present you with the best boobs I found today…

Tila Tequila Is Tila Tequila, And That’s All I Know…

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Tila is one of a kind…

I don’t really know what Tila Tequila does for a living, in fact, does anyone know?  If you do, please email me and bring me up to speed.  Regardless of the actual terminology of her job title, I just hope that she continues to do exactly what she has been doing.  I know that sounds strange because I just admitted to not knowing what she does, but I just want her to keep doing it.  This girl is fascinating, and continues the trend of MTV reality stars clinging to what they do best: nothing.  I love a trainwreck, and she is certainly worthy of the dubious honor.  I recently saw her on webcam, broadcasting to tons of people early in the morning.  She was half naked and drunk; and I liked it.  This girl probably hooked up with Tiger Woods too, right?  I am gonna go ahead and give my stamp of approval to Tila and whatever it is she is doing in this world.  Is she making it better?  I don’t know.  But is she making it worse?  I don’t know.  Does she have talent?  I don’t know.  Can she bake?  Maybe…

Catalina Cruz Chats With Nude Reviews For A Few

The highly anticipated “Catalina Cruz Interview” is here, apologies for the delay.  She is a total sweetheart and I will continue my search for a girl that can match her blowjob talents.  Thanks again Catalina!

Part one:

[jwplayer config=”Interview Player” mediaid=”11010″]

Part two:

[jwplayer config=”Interview Player” mediaid=”11012″]


Catalina Cruz: Hello?

Nude Reviews: Catalina, hey it’s Mack at NudeReviews.com. How are you?

Catalina Cruz: Good, how are you, Mack?

NR: Good, I’m glad I finally got you on the phone.

Catalina Cruz: I know, I’m sorry. There’s never enough hours in the day. I get caught up doing my thing online…

NR: You don’t have to apologize to me. You’re a lot busier than I am, trust me.

Catalina Cruz: Not always [laughs].

NR: So, what’s going on? What’s the latest in your life?

Catalina Cruz: What’s new? Well, I’m currently working on a new website addition to all the websites we have. So that takes up a lot of time because it’s always a lot of work to get a whole new websitetogether.

NR: Yeah, I know the whole process of building a new website. It’s very tedious.

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, everything from editing the videos- and this new website is going to have an iPhone option so they can download all the videos to their iPhone, so we’re encoding in all different ways. So it’s just all very time consuming and tedious, but I love it.

NR: That’s fantastic. You gotta give the fans what they want though, right?

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, and keep them and think about the future. When all these people have these phones and things, you know?

NR: So, are you out in LA these days?

Catalina Cruz: No, I’m actually in Arizona. Originally, I’m from Ohio.

NR: Oh, I didn’t know that, Arizona. And you’re from Cleveland, right?

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, the Cleveland area and I moved here about five years ago. It just was more down to earth for me [laughs].

NR: The desert area is beautiful; I love it.

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, and I don’t mind the heat. I love it. And right now it’s in the 80s and it’s just gorgeous. I love it.

NR: How did you get into adult entertainment? You know, growing up in Cleveland.

Catalina Cruz: Actually, I was just playing around back in the 90s and I was just playing around online one day. I uploaded some amateur photos that we were just playing around with at home. I just started getting like, emails from local photographers that wanted to shoot me for their portfolio. And that’s how it started. I was like, “Uh…” and I was thinking I was just going to do promotional modeling or mainstream stuff.

NR: Nothing naked, right?

Catalina Cruz: [laughs] Yeah, I wasn’t even thinking that. And then he was like, “Why don’t you take your top off and I’ll submit them for Playboy to use.”

NR: That’s always how it starts, right?

Catalina Cruz: Right and I was just comfortable, you know? It didn’t really bother me and that was back when they had like, contact sheets you know with the- [laughs] I’m showing my age right now, huh?

NR: Don’t worry about it! I’m sure you’re going to have tons of fans regardless of if they find out how old you are. I’m sure.

Catalina Cruz: Well I’m not that old. I say I turn 21 every year.

NR: That’s good, I like that.

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, so then everything just snowballed. I met a guy in Michigan that told me about all these adult websites and he was like, “You should do this,” and I just kind of put my feet in…in the 90s and it just snowballed.

NR: And so you’re ten years strong with your own website now, right? It’s been about a decade?

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, I can’t believe it. It doesn’t even feel that long, though.

NR: Time flies, right? I gotta be honest, I used to have a girlfriend who probably could have benefitted from watching some of your instructional videos, if you know what I mean.

Catalina Cruz: [laughs] What, the Licensed to Blow?

NR: Absolutely. Can you guarantee results, for future reference?

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, I’ve had some girls fail.

NR: Oh boy, that’s not good.

Catalina Cruz: I honestly, when I get together with some of the other pornstars, when I have scenes. To be honest, they have taught me something.

NR: I don’t believe it.

Catalina Cruz: I just really, really love it. It’s a good time.

NR: Who are some of your favorite girls to work with?

Catalina Cruz: You know, they’re all my favorites. I hate to say that, but I’ve never really gotten together with anybody and thought oh, I didn’t have a good time. It’s like, even the ones who are really diva-like, I still had fun with on set because you’re just having fun. We try to make our shoots shorter than most. They’re not huge, long days because the girls just get miserable and it’s not fun.

NR: You’re just trying to help each other out, in essence. That’s a good thing. What’s your favorite thing about being a pornstar?

Catalina Cruz: Um, well first I don’t even see myself as a pornstar.

NR: Do you see yourself as the web starlet?

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, kind of. Because people argue well, is she really a pornstar? Because everything I do is on the Internet. But what I like about it is, I think I honestly like the attention. I’ve always liked people watching me. I think I can honestly say, that’s what I like.

NR: Really? So, you get a little bit of a rush out of the fact that people are watching you and getting excited watching your videos?

Catalina Cruz: Especially the live shows. That’s what I’ve really concentrated on within the past year. I’ve just started doing private shows, too. One on one shows with the members. They’ve been asking me for years and years to do them and so I’ve started doing that. And it’s just more intimate and you know, it’s different. I always said I wasn’t going to do it, but I’m really glad I did. You really get to know them.

NR: Of course, so the feedback has been really positive on the live shows and the private shows, from your members?

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, it seems like it’s really the future, the live stuff. ‘Cause that’s the closest they’re going to get to really interacting with you and it’s a real live girl instead of just videos.
NR: And that’s what they want, that’s what the fans want. It’s awesome that that’s what you’re giving them. And…what about dislikes? Is there anything you don’t like about the industry, anything you wish you could change about the industry?

Catalina Cruz: Um…there’s a lot of things. I think, one thing that really makes me sad is when the girls get caught up in the drug side. That really, really makes me sad because you can just see someone totally falling apart and it’s just not happy. And I think that, you know, if you’re going to go that way you might as well just not do it.

NR: Yeah, it’s a slippery slope.

Catalina Cruz: But I think that’s every career. You can get caught up in that. But that side definitely, I don’t like. I mean, I party and I drink every once in a while, but I’m not a huge party girl.

NR: You’re more just about getting your work done and making your website the best it can be, right?

Catalina Cruz: Yeah, and I can have fun with all that.

NR: It’s all about balance. Okay, I have to ask a few questions. You have a lot of fans at NudeReview.com, they come to check out your galleries and they see the latest stuff we put up on you. And they have some questions for you. They want to know, what’s your favorite position?

Catalina Cruz: My favorite position? I’m not really sure if it’s the correct thing, but it’s like…reverse cowgirl? [laughs] You know, when I’m facing the ceiling and I’m on top and the guy can reach around and play with my clit?

NR: No, that’s right. Boy, geez. I think they’re going to like hearing that. What about size? Does size really matter to you?

Catalina Cruz: You know, I get asked this all the time over the years. I don’t think it does, I mean, unless it’s like really, really tiny. But you can still do- I mean, you can still rub it and I’m a clit girl and plus I’m petite, so I don’t have to have this huge- so, it doesn’t really matter to me.

NR: That’s a good thing to know. What about, one of your fans…an average fan. How long could they last during one of your famous blowjobs?

Catalina Cruz: Um, let’s see…

NR: Ten seconds?

Catalina Cruz: Nooooo! [laughs] I think, you know what sometimes comes into play is nerves. I think that sometimes that might come into play. So I would say…two minutes.

NR: Two minutes? I don’t think I could do it.

Catalina Cruz: Two minutes go by fast!

NR: So does thirty seconds.

Catalina Cruz: [laughs] You’re silly.

NR: Listen, I just want you to know that everybody here at NudeReviews.com thinks that you’re one of the hottest girls in the industry even though you’re talking about how you were dating yourself earlier and we think you should be a frontrunner for Web Starlet of the Year again in 2010.

Catalina Cruz: Oh, oh you’re crazy. That would be wild.

NR: Why? Why not?

Catalina Cruz: Well, I just think…for political reasons it’s not going to happen, but thank you. Thank you very much.

NR: Okay, one last question. Who gives a better blowjob, you or Penelope Cruz?

Catalina Cruz: Oh my god…well, I haven’t seen her in action, so I can’t judge. I’m going to say me, because I think I have more experience.

NR: I think so, too. Without a doubt.

Catalina Cruz: [laughs] I wish I could work with her, then we could find out.

NR: We should set up a contest.

Catalina Cruz: Oh yeah, she would love that.

NR: [laughs] Yeah, I think she’d agree to that in a heartbeat, right? We’ll get on the phone with her and see if we can make it happen, don’t worry…

Tiger Woods Will Fuck Anything With A Pulse

Joslyn James

Tiger Style…

I promised myself that I wouldn’t blog about Tiger…but now he is banging pornstars and my boss yelled at me for not blogging about it.  This is amazing, what a sly dog huh?  I am impressed with his resume.  He is undoubtedly going to be the greatest golfer of all time, and he is arguably the most dominant male athlete in the history of sports.  But who knew he was banging a different girl for every tournament he won!?  I know that some of the girls coming out of the woodwork are spreading rumors and just trying to capitalize on the insta-fame, but many are telling the truth too.  Tiger spent years putting out this squeaky clean image, meanwhile he was putting his penis into anything that moved…from a pornstar to a manager at a shitty restaurant.  The pornstar bang has my interest peaked, but this manager at Perkins Family Restaurant raises some eyebrows.  I am picturing Tiger, late-night munchies in Orlando with the boys, a couple of bong-hits and a triple-dog dare…exactly.

Watching Porn At The Office Warrants A Promotion…

Office Porn

There is an opening at one of the biggest banks in UK, and I think it would be prudent not to submit an application.  A female employee, Hayley Tansey, recently quit her “dream job” citing sexual harassment and excessive porn watching by her coworkers as reasons for the departure.  I do not condone sexual harassment, unless it is mutual; but I can however advocate the viewing of porn at the office.  More power to you brother!  I think Miss Tansey jumped the gun here, I really do.  All she had to do was sit down with these porn-addicted coworkers and say, “hey guys, can we watch porn that I like too?”…problem solved.  And the beauty of this solution is that there really is not much porn that men don’t like, so the odds are stacked in their favor.  She picks out her favorite site and everyone is happy…