This is the moment I have been waiting for all of my life…Eva Angelina’s Fleshlight is ready for deployment.  I apologize for posting late today, I have been sitting around my desk all day just staring at pics of Eva on one monitor and her Fleshlight on the other.  I had it overnighted, is that excessive?  I didn’t think so, either.

If you have not experienced the Fleshlight, do it, now.  It is an actual mold of a pornstar’s vagina…enough said.  Personally, I have been waiting for a mold that best suited me, and Eva Angelina is perfect.  The Fleshlight is literally putting bars and pubs out of business, men never have to leave the house again…

Actual Phone Call:

Frank: Yo, Brad, what did you do last night?

Brad: Hey, Frankieee! I fucked Eva Angelina, it was amazing.

Frank: No way?!

Brad: True story, in fact she is still here. Actually, she is moving in.

Frank: You are the MAN!

* The Fleshlight is making America one less drunk man in the bar at a time.  I bet the people at Fleshlight never thought they had cured alcoholism, but they just did.  I am going to write a letter to the Nobel Society in Sweden, recommending the entire company for its highest honor.  Forget the Peace Prize, they are getting Sweden, the whole damn country.