My vagina requires 24 karat gold…

At what point do you say to yourself, “I need a solid gold vibrator”.  Apparently it was just recently for Jesse Jane.  I can relate to this feeling however.  Three days ago, I said to myself, “I would love some Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers”.  So I did what anyone in my shoes would have done…I walked to the store and got them!  They were in aisle 12, nowhere near the golden dildos.

Seriously, Jesse, come on now.  Are you Saddam Hussein?  What’s next?  A golden toilet and a diamond studded faucet?  Stick with the normal stuff, so your fans don’t think you have lost your mind.  If you melted down that vibrator, its value would equal the Gross Domestic Product of Ghana.  Think of all the lives you could save, Jesse!  If you are reading this blog, Jesse, go to cashforgold.com and make an inquiry.  Use the cash to save a nation, not your vagina.

* Jesse, you are still amazing and I would do unthinkable things to you.  I was just concerned about the children, the future of the Earth.